You're scrolling through BookMyShow on a breezy Friday afternoon. It's been a stressful week, and the rains have let up, so you decide to unwind with a brainrot Bollywood comedy. But which one? Should you go watch Welcome to the Jungle, still running in theatres, or Dhamaal 4, the latest in the long-running treasure hunt franchise? These things are subjective, but let me present a quick comparison.
Welcome to the Jungle is directed by Ahmed Khan. Dhamaal 4 is directed—in the kindest sense of the term—by Indra Kumar. Welcome to the Jungle is a spoof about the making of movies. Dhamaal 4 shows why some movies should never be made at all. Welcome to the Jungle has satirical ambitions. Dhamaal 4 has hysterical collisions. Welcome to the Jungle is a loose rehash of Tropic Thunder. Dhamaal 4 is a hard retread of the first, second and third Dhamaal.
Welcome to the Jungle has a cast of 32 actors, plus Disha Patani. Dhamaal 4 has about the same. Welcome to the Jungle has Akshay Kumar gamely playing a washed-up actor named Rajiv. Dhamaal 4 has Ajay Devgn gamely playing an antique-seller named Guddu. Welcome to the Jungle pairs Arshad Warsi with Suniel Shetty. Dhamaal 4 pairs Arshad Warsi with Jaaved Jaaferi. Welcome to the Jungle has guns and explosions. Dhamaal 4 has pirates and pricks. Welcome to the Jungle winds up in a real jungle. Dhamaal 4 winds up on a fake island.
Welcome to the Jungle is a cartoon pretending to be a film. Dhamaal 4 is a film pretending to be a cartoon. Welcome to the Jungle has a few children in its cast. Dhamaal 4 does not pity the children in its cast. Welcome to the Jungle has a CGI gorilla. Dhamaal 4 has a CGI octopus. Welcome to the Jungle has characters getting nicked in the butt. Dhamaal 4 has characters getting stabbed in the butt. Welcome to the Jungle references the first Welcome. Dhamaal 4...well, it also references the first Welcome.
I can go on. Welcome to the Jungle has Yashpal Sharma as the vaguely Bihari stereotype. Dhamaal 4 has Riteish Deshmukh as the obviously Bihari stereotype. Welcome to the Jungle parodies a Bhojpuri song at the start. Dhamaal 4 parodies a Bhojpuri song in the end. Welcome to the Jungle has Jackie Shroff as its fancy-dress villain. Dhamaal 4 has Ravi Kishan as its fancy-dress villain (and also Jackie Shroff). Welcome to the Jungle has Akshay Kumar skid-riding a chopper. Dhamaal 4 has Ajay Devgn split-riding two huge dolphins. Welcome to the Jungle has jokes on Rajpal Yadav's height. Dhamaal 4 has an actual dwarf.
Welcome to the Jungle has a blonde-haired Jacqueline Fernandez saying, "Pachas, Pachas, Pachas (50, 50, 50)". Dhamaal 4 has a white-haired Sanjay Mishra saying a lot of 'bro'. Welcome to the Jungle makes some questionable comic choices. Dhamaal 4 makes you question your life choices. Welcome to the Jungle is intermittently funny. Dhamaal 4 is interminably dull. Welcome to the Jungle will often bore you to sleep. Dhamaal 4 will bore you to death.
Welcome to the Jungle has something to say about screen heroism and the inherent niceness in human beings. Dhamaal 4 has something to say about greed and body positivity. Welcome to the Jungle clowns on the silliness and graft of the movie industry. Dhamaal 4 gives credence to said clowning. Welcome to the Jungle makes a mountain out of a molehill. Dhamaal 4 explodes two mountains at once. Welcome to the Jungle will break your brain. Dhamaal 4 will break your soul. Welcome to the Jungle does not promise a return, though it likely will. Dhamaal 4 ends on a plug for Dhamaal 5.
Take your pick.